Being an adult

      It is still not clear when I became an adult. The numbers we call 'age' is getting thicker and thicker. But it seems like I'm stuck in twenties except my body doesn't respond me like twenties. When we learn history, those textbooks we had are saying that from this time to that time of period is bla bla. But becoming an adult is not clear like that.

      I have two beautiful nieces and they are 5 and 3. They are so lovely and wonderful. They love me and still have that excitement when I get to see them. But I don't think it'll go forever. There is going to be a time that they think they are treated not fair and the whole world is not on their side. Do I know how to react or handle this kind of situations? Somehow I'm an adult. So I have to be more patience and wiser than them. But I have no idea how I can deal with it.

      A friend of mine who lives in London and her son is about twelve years old. Very sweet and smart kid. He is even smarter and more confident than when I was at his age. He knows way more things than me. And even acts like an adult. He is so sure at what he feels and what he wants. Compare to him, I was so child like and too shy all the time at that age. His questions are very direct. There is no mutter at his opinion. Maybe thats why? Somehow I got lost how to say to him or answer to his sharp questions. I've been in my childhood before like everybody did. So theoretically I suppose to know what to say in front of him. Cause my brain is the same one I had at his age. Why am I getting an anger even I can't show. Why am I not completely understand at his behavior even I might have been in similar situations before? And why am I not being a cool adult and making myself childish?

      I no longer should say that I'm an adult. That's right I was never been an adult. How do I know all the great parents who knows everything and how to handle their children. Probably they don't. They just deal with it every single day until their children become older. Maybe becoming an adult is not like mathematically from when we all become an adult precisely. It's maybe we are becoming adults little by little and day by day until we die.

      My nieces aren't gonna be 5 and 3 forever. Someday they will be 12 and 10 or 16 and 14. Am I ready to be a cool uncle to them? How do I know? I don't even have a child and I don't live with them. So that proves that I know nothing about them. My life is all full of "adults" and we all are kind of kids in some ways and we never realize that. I wish there is some apps on my phone call "How to deal with teenagers". So then I can open my phone and find out whenever I have issues with them. Then I can be the cool uncle forever. Only in my dream.

      We all swore once that we are going to be cool at our children and kids. Our parents and many of adults didn't understand what we thought and wanted. So when we become one of them, we'd be better than them to understand our kids. In fact we easily forget and make same steps. So we have to start all over from the beginning. Maybe it's a fate that it has to be our own. And we have to face it by ourself. Not we heard from someone else. Because every children are different and as the time goes by each generation makes so much of differences.

      Luckily I still got time. Maybe 5 or 7 more years. Maybe I could be a cool uncle very easily. Cause I don't see them often and that makes me the precious uncle that they can see only once a year. Well I know nothing about how to be an adult in front of kids. Might as well, I should just listen to them and let them to speak out. And be patience is another good one I guess.